Joy, Truth, Love

Joy, truth,love.  These three are interchangeable, and one always leads to the other.  It matters not in which order thye are placed.  November 5 - Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1" page 5

The thoughts that are going through my mind are best not posted.  But I never cease to be amazed that the people I think would be the most tolerant, aren't.  

Tonight I have prayers and good thoughts for Pam and family. 

Tonight I am grateful for:

• God, my Higher Power
• My Sobriety
• Mamie, my schnauzer
• My Sponsor
• Restraint of type (as in typing), expression, and misplaced anger.
•  The carnage at Fort Hood was not any worse.
• The bond in sobriety that we all have.
• Friends
• All y'all.

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!

Another Good, Gorgeous, and Sober Day!

What you fear most is what will most plague you.  Fear will draw it to you like a magnet.  November 4 - Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1" page 56

Hey y'all, how the hell are ya?  Today was another gorgeous day here in Spring, Texas.  I had another aquatic therapy session and an anxiety attack towards the end.  There were two of us in the pool today, each with out own therapist.  The other patient's therapist was loud and had a voice that reminded me of nails on a chalkboard.  Put that in a tile walled room and the echo effect, it might neer drove me over the edge.  And it did, All of a sudden I was just pounding on the the cement bench in the pool, I did not realize I was doing this.  My therapist came over and gently asked me if I was ok.  That's when I realized what I was doing.  I sat there for a few minutes, and calm came back.  Man am I ever glad I was not shaving.  But then the incident probably would not have happened.  Whatever!  It was over as soon as it started and I am ok tonight.  I see my shrink tomorrow, so we will have something to talk about.  I'm reminded of the promises when something like this happens.  Aren't they wonderful.If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.  We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.  We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.  We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.   No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.  That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.   We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.  Self-seeking will slip away.  Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.  Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.  We will intuitively know how handle situations which used to baffle us.  We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises?  We think not.  They are being fulfilled among us--sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.  They will always materialized if we work for them.

And I am so grateful to see these promises coming true on a daily basis.  Tonight I am also grateful for:

• God, My Higher Power
• My Sobriety
• Mamie, my schnauzer
• My sponsor.
• Tomorrow's appointment with my psychiatrist
• Tomorrow's appointment with my neurologist to go over my AT progress.
• Beginning to feel progress in my mobility
• Adjusting to light-headiness when standing up.
• Being on the top side of the grass.
• Friends
• Funny emails.
• All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!

Just another day - ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY

Feeling is the language of the soul.  November 3 - Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1" page 3

Yesterday I started back on my Aquatic Therapy.  My balance was a bit off, but it was a hell of a lot better at the end of the session.  After that I picked up my friend Joe and off to Costco we went.  On arrival, I had to get him an electric cart as he can't walk right now.  The first one I got took me about 5 feet and died.  The second one lasted for the two hour shopping trip.  I got home about 8 PM and was pooped.  Man I sure slept well last night.  In the old days, Joe was one of my many drinking buddies, and shopping was something we did on the fly so as not to take time away from the cocktail hours.  Joe still embibes, but has been one of my biggest supporters in my trudge through sobriety.  We used to say "hell, drunk driving is a sport in Texas."  And it was, also in California, Lousiana, and just about everywhere else in this good ole U S of A.  I don't do that anymore.  There's a lot of things I don't do anymore:

1. I don't drink
2. How the hell did I wind up in bed from the star of the "Star Wars Bar."
3. Where the hell am I?
4. Wonder where the hell is my car?
5. Wonder what the hell is this sticking to my face, my arms, my chest, my.........
6. Don't worry about a DUI.
7. etc
8. etc
9. etc
10. ad infinitum.

And yes, It is a beautiful sober autumn day here in the Houston, Texas area.  And it is November and is gratitude month.  In Los Angeles, we took up a second collection at the meetings in November and that Money went to the Los Angeles Central Office.  We don't do that here in Houston, but it is still recognized as Gratitude month.  We do a Gratitude Dinner on Thanksgiving for about 250+ people at the Lambda center.  Unfortunately, I have never attended this event as I always go to Rosalie's for Thanksgiving. I plan to do the same this year, and I am ever so grateful that I have Rosalie to share this holiday. 

Tonight I am grateful for:

• God, my Higher Power
• My Sobriety
• Mamie, my steak bone chomping schnauzer.
• My Sponsor
• Seeing two of Lambda's own on a visit from Alaska this past Saturday night.
• That there were only two birthday celebrants this past Saturday that thought they were appearing on "This is My Life."  30 Celebrants with 289 years of Sobriety.
• This fellowship
• All y'all.

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Listen to The Rhythm of the Falling Rain

The grandest teaching of Christ was not that you shall have everlasting life--but that you do.  Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1" page 52

Scott W's post today brought this song title to my mind and it would not shut off.  I made a comment that it was from 1959 and I could not remember the name of the group, but the group I had in mind was not correct.  And the song is not from 1959.  It was written and recorded the first time by Floyd Cramer on December 29, 1957.  Later it was recorded by Johnny Tilotson, Ricky Nelson, Herman's Hermits and lots of others.  I LOVED THAT SONG.   I danced and dipped many a girl at the sock hops, proms, and other high school dances.  Later I danced and dipped many a man in the dance clubs of the 1960s and if the lights flickered, it was grab a dyke, as same sex dancing was against the law and they were coming in the door.  But that's for a June story.  It's magic how just a little statement on another's blog and send us down a wonderful lane of memories.

Tonight I am grateful for:

• God my Higher Power
• My Sobriety
• Mamie, my schnauzer, whom has been my nurse and companion through this crud, virus, flu, or whatever the hell I've got.
• My sponsor.
• 16 solid hours of sleep last night into today 
• Feeling better today
• A nice house in which to have "cabin fever."
• Canned peaches and toast.
• Maybe tomorrow I'll venture out, I hate to miss birthday night.
• Memories
• Friends
• All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!

Thunder tells me that God is in his heaven.

All of your life you think you are your body.  Some of the time you think you are your mind.  It is at the time of your death that you find out Who You Really Are.  October 29 - Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1, page 81.

Hi y'all.  It is pouring here in Spring Texas.  Has been most of the evening.  Reading Syd's post reminded me how walking on the beach in the rain in autumn/winter is one of my favorite things to do.  But not quite this hard. We have been pretty lucky here in the Houston area for the last three weekends.  It has rained during the week and been absolutely gorgeous for the weekends.  That is also the outlook for this weekend.

Last night I heard that Wal-Mart is selling caskets.  Yep, that's just what I want of my coffin, Wal-Mart brand  FADED GLORY.  HMMMMMMMMMM.  So I started looking at on line coffins and found just what I want.  I've never wanted to be embalmed, and the thought of being cremated just does not fall in to my belief system for me.  I love it that eco-friendly burial is now available.  I just want a mahogony veneer coffin made out of pressed wood.  All wood.  No metal.  And I've always not wanted a vault, I want to return to dust. You know Dust to Dust. Back in the 60's and 70's I wanted to be buried in a plain mahogany coffin, naked, and covered with rose petals except for the face.  Such Drama.  Not planning to be checking out any time soon.  Seeing Steveronis post today with the coffin, reminded me of what I want.  That is the coffin I want, except Mahogany Veneer.

It's funny to me to be writing the above.  Saturday night when I went to leave Lambda, the car next to me had pulled its right fender up to within a foot of my front door.  That left me about 9 inches to get in my car.  Hell, I need a lot more room than that.  So I went back in to Lambda and found a skinny friend of mine.  She and her girlfriend were parked on the other side of me.  She said so you need us Skinny Bitches to get you into your truck.  They have always liked my Honda Ridgeline and I told them I bought it to be my last vehicle.  They looked at me and one said is this an announcement.  I laughed and said no,  I wanted it to last another 22 years for when I'm 80, and then it hit me that is only 12 years off.  Shit, that's not very long. But if I live that long, I will have 30 years sobriety.  I don't say if the creek don't rise and the Lord is willing,  I know he is willing and I'm willing to do what it takes to get there.  So I will.  I know that in my heart.  Man does Sobriety Rock or what?

I talked to Rosalie today.  The news is better.  She starts her radium (?) treatment (that does not sound right but that's all this brain will come up with) this coming Tuesday.  She will need ten treatments.  This doctor says that should get rid of the cancer and that she is lucky for it to have been found at this stage.  It very seldom is, so in a way her COPD is a blessing ' that is why they do the X-rays they do.  Talk about a miracle.  I just love watching God at work and reaping some of the glory of his love.  What a spiritual experience this is.

Cabin fever is setting in here.  I'm feeling better, but the vertigo still does a number with me.  I just do not get up, sit or lay down quickly.  The feeling of the spinning room is sickening.  Last night as I lay down I had a spin and let me tell you, I had my eyes open and the tv was just a fluttering, so I shut my eyes quickly and the spinning quieted down.  But it's not so bad, at least I'm sober going through the vertigo.  I'm sure that in my drinking days, there are many spinning moments that are lost in one of those damned blackouts.  I'm so blessed not to live like that any more.

Tonight I am grateful for:

• 
  
  God, my Higher Power
  
  
  
• 
  
  My Sobriety
  
  
  
• 
  
  Mamie, my schnauzer that is clinging to me during the lightening and thunder.  She was outside on a business trip about an hour ago and there was the big clap of rolling thunder, she let out a yelp and ran for the door just a howling.  She was soaked.  She is so precious.  And she just smothered me with kisses.  Yes!
  
  
  
• 
  
  My sponsor
  
  
  
• 
  
  Cold meat loaf sandwich with catsup
  
  
  
• 
  
  Needing what I have
  
  
  
• 
  
  Having what I need
  
  
  
• 
  
  A call from one of my best friends for tomorrow's 10 AM meeting at my sponsor's.
  
  
  
• 
  
  Going back to my Aquatic Therapy this coming Monday.
  
  
  
• 
  
  Knowing when to take care of myself
  
  
  
• 
  
  Friends
  
  
  
• 
  
  All y'all
  
  
  

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!

Where the hell is my Tuesday Post?

What you open your eyes and look at desappears.  That is, it ceases to hold its illusory form.  October 28 - Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1" page 102

Okay, where'd it go.  I posted last night saved and published it.  It is gone today.  What the hell?  I also cannot keep Syd nor Findon in my blogger list.  One night they are there then, the next time or so they are gone.  Is anyone else having problems like this?  I have had the disappearing post happen a couple of times but it just creeps me out.

Also, I do not do sick well.  I woke up this AM about 4 pm sick as a dog.  Head swimming and cold sweats.  Lasted most of the day.  Still not feeling well, but the sick sick feeling is gone.  I just hate this. My Mother used to call this "my feel bad hurts."  Always works for me.  Never did use it as an excuse not to go into work tho', it was too simple.  I liked to be explicit and convoluted.  I'm so glad I haven't lived like that since I got sober.

Not much to say tonight, we will see if this stays online.

Tonight I am grateful for:

• God, my Higher Power
• My Sobriety
• Mamie, my schnauzer who is barking to come in.
• My sponsor.
• Mostly well days.
• Being sighted
• Not enticed to try wheat beer.
• Friends
• All y'all

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah.

Monday, Monday.

There is no such thing as an incorrect path--for on this journey you cannot "not get" where you are going.  It is simply a matter of speed--merely a question of when you will get there. OCTOBER 26 - Meditations from "Conversations with God - Book 1"

page 104

Monday rainy, heavy rainy Monday.  Thunder, Mamie moved close to me on the bed.  More thunder, Mamie got under the covers with me.  The next thing I knew it was 11:30 and I had to be at the Aquatic Therapy at 1 PM.   Rushed around, and left for Dunkin Donuts.  Got an iced coffee with Half and Half and two pumpkin muffins.  They have the best punkin muffins.  About a mile from the Hospital, I got very sick, so I went in signed in and told them I was sick and came home.  About 3 o'clock I rejoined the rest of the well world.  I hate those sick feelings, I have them every now and then, usually when I have not eaten, not the case this morning. 

What a wonderful weekend.  Had Sat dinner with my sponsor and two other friends and then went to the speaker meeting at Lambda.  The speaker was my grand sponsor and she is a very good speaker.  This is the second time I have heard her.  She doesn't come to Lambda as much as she used to.  Following the speaker meeting was a Drag Auction, a fund raiser for the AA Roundup.  About 10 - 11 acts and some were just too special.  We were definitely intertained and they raised a little over $4,000.  The place was packed.  SUNDAY was just a day around the house with Mamie, and that was enough.  What a change from Sunday's of yesteryears past.  And I only have to stay sober one day at a time to enjoy days like that.  Sobriety ROCKS.

Tonight I am grateful for:

• God my Higher Power
• My Sobriety
• Mamie, my OCD schnauzer.
• My sponsor with whom I enjoy spending time.
• Talented drunks
• Huge sober audiences.
• Having a great time without vomit, fights, or.................
• Watching smiles adding value to so many faces.
• All y'all.

Y'all be pretty now, ya heah!